One Reason Why You Need A “Monkey” In Your Life

Have you ever felt stressed when doing life? Dr. Henry Cloud has some great insight for us.

To be honest, sometimes I make some pretty pathetic decisions. My excuse? “I don’t want to hurt their feelings, I want them to be happy, I want to please them” are some of the ones I like to use. But what about the best decision for me and my family?

Have you ever tried to say “no” to someone only to find out you felt so guilty and just couldn’t?  I have.  Many of times.  I feel like I am in control of my life only to find out that sometimes boundaries get blurred and my “yeses” and “no’s” get a bit gray. Overcommitted. Overwhelmed. And sometimes spinning out of control.

Problem: Sometimes it’s hard learning what is in my control and what’s not.  Sometimes I don’t want to be grown up and make wise choices.  You too?

henry cloud

Who is he? “Dr. Henry Cloud is an acclaimed leadership expert, psychologist, and best-selling author. His books have sold over 10 million copies.  Success magazine named Dr. Cloud in the top 25 of 2014s most influential leaders in personal growth and development.  As a speaker, Dr. Cloud has shared the stage with many business and global leaders and experts, such as Tony Blair, Jack Welch, and Condoleezza Rice.”

What did I learn? First of all, Dr. Henry Cloud’s message was relaxed and full of humor and insight.  Dr. Cloud had 5 great points about boundaries.

Yet, #5, the story of the monkey was my take-away.  I learned that in order “to develop good boundaries, you need a monkey in your cage.”  Ha!  A monkey!  No, of course not a real monkey.  Dr. Henry Cloud was resourcing a study done about monkey’s alone in a cage.  When alone their cortisol (stress) levels were higher while the banging and clanging {causing stress} was going on.  However, when the monkey had another monkey with him during the stress induced times, the cortisol levels were lower.


Why did this message stick? This message stuck to me because aren’t we all just like the monkeys?  When we have someone who we can trust and love, we are less stressed.  Hence the movement of the Church to “do life together.”  It was a main message of the King Jesus Himself!  Boundaries don’t mean that we isolate ourselves in our own fence.  They mean that we invite those we trust and love into our lives and do life together.  We need other people.

Why does this message mean something to me?  The best “monkey” I have in my cage is my husband.  He’s my best friend.  When I get into situations where the boundaries get blurred and I’m not sure why I am doing what I am doing, Robert helps me keep on track.  Just being there with me in my “cage,” life is easier.

We all need a “monkey” or two in our cage with us as we do life. Isn’t life better when we go through hard things together? So while boundaries are great and beautiful, we take control of our lives and part of that is inviting others into our life, into our cage!! 😉

Who is the monkey in your cage?  Who helps you?

Forward this to them and thank them for being the monkey in your cage!  😉


Boundaries #1 Amazon Best Seller

Get your copy today and let’s get control of our life!

Living Intentionally Focused Everyday!


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