Why Knowing Your 5 Love Languages Is Beneficial To Your Happiness

There’s only an hour left before the husband is supposed to walk through that front door. An audience of toys, dirty dishes, unfolded laundry, and a family still in pajamas would greet him at the door if I didn’t act quickly. Sixty minutes and the race begins! “Girls, Daddy’s almost home!” We get dressed, and race to clean up anything and everything that is in our house. Why? Because Robert loves a clean home.

woman cleaning home


Wow, if only that were the real answer. So you ask again: Why do I frantically race at the final hour of my day to get things done? Because I love words of affirmation! (What a confession!)


There’s nothing that feeds my soul like words sung by my favorite person that say “WOW, Love, the house looks amazing!” Six words and I’m like a deflated balloon receiving a 7 second blast of helium.   I float around elevated and filled up.


What Are Your Emotional Needs?


Almost a year ago I came to realization that while I know what my personal emotional needs are, I’m not exactly good at knowing the personal emotional needs of others. How selfish and self-centered had I become (or never truly broke free from!)? I realized that I’m not very good at loving people. Truly loving people. And if I’m not really good at loving people, am I really good at loving God? Ouch!


Who brought this to my attention? God did. I wanted to know how to love Him more. And as a result, He asked me:


How well do you love others?


That question led me onto a journey with God in pursuit of loving like He loves. While sitting on the couch one morning seeking God, He asked me: “What’s your love language?” God was referring to a “5 Love Languages” test (by Gary Chapman) Robert and I had taken almost a decade ago in preparation for marriage. I told Him what it was. Then He asked me to give that away. {I’ll explain more below.}


What are your greatest needs right now? Are there times you crave for someone to come along and meet that need in your own heart?


In a two-step process, we can step into a whole new way of living and loving God. Join me:


1) Know your own love language

Before you can do anything, you need to be aware of what your own needs are in relationships. The test asks you whether you are married or single. I suggest taking the test two times answering as both married and single (even if you are not in a marriage).


*You will find the link for the free online test at the bottom of this blog post.


2) Give away what you need

In the teachings of Jesus we see a kingdom of God principle (what I like to call Kingdom Realities). Luke 6:38 says “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”


What a promise! Give away what you need. The result? Apparently, Jesus says that what we give will be given back to us in such abundance that our laps, pockets, hands, hearts, and lives won’t be able to carry such vast amount of blessing!


Then Jesus commands us to:


“’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (See Matt. 22:37-39).


In Luke, it accounts Jesus as saying “Do this {love & love} and you will live” (See Lk 10:27).


Therefore, knowing your own personal love language is not only beneficial, but critical in learning how to truly live for God.


Today, I ask that you join me in giving away what you so desperately long for. The things you dream your husband would meet, your friends would see your need for, or your heart cries out at night in a great depravation for. Watch what happens when you apply this kingdom reality into your life. Like a baby bird opens wide its beak for nourishment, your heart will open wide and God will meet your deepest needs in Him as you love God by loving others.


Click here to take the test.


Share this post and ask a friend to take their love languages test & share the results with you.  {This will take out all the guess-work in how best to meet their needs.} 


On fire for Jesus & humbled to love,


blog signature full name


  1. Good way to look at it – give what you want to receive.

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