Why I Have A Personal Trainer {My Heart…raw & real}

“You have a trainer?!”

“Where do you train with her?”

And so goes the text messages, personal inquiries, and direct messages.

Believe it or not, I am a closed book kind of person.  It’s not easy for me to open up.  Therefore, I apologize for not opening my heart.  And more accurately, opening my incredible struggle{s} to get back into great health.

My Story Behind My Hiring A Trainer

There’s a story behind my hiring her. A big story. Probably too long to post in a blog post.  {At least to follow any type of blogging etiquette rules, that is.} Oh well, here I go.

I have had a lot of struggles with my body and health since baby #2 has been born. Feelings of disappointment. Discouragement. Frustration. And ultimately, utter defeat.

I’ve written training programs. I’ve encouraged you, my readers, on your own weight loss-strength building journeys.  I’ve done “this” before. So why can’t I do it now?! Why am I failing?!  Why does dark chocolate, Trader Joes demonic cookie butter, and frozen tubes of Girl Scout cookie ice cream continue to win every time?! I have the Holy Spirit… So where’s the missing fruit?!

Self – controooool!!! Where are you?!

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Direction From The Doc

I knew something was wrong. Really really wrong.

I went to the doctor about 17 months after our 2nd was born. 25 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. A belly that looks 3-5 months preggers. And an energy level of an irritable snail.

I went to the doctor to find out that I have adrenal glands {you do too!!}. Mine are apparently a bit too stressed out. Blood tests came back and revealed I had some pretty low DHEA levels. This affects your moods, drive, blah blah blah. Apparently I have the hormone levels of a 75-year-old woman. {I know, that’s beautiful for a 33-year-old wife and mommy, right?!}

Why? Because of stress and lack of sleep. {Thank you to our second born, cute as a button, mid-night intercessor!}

From that news, I realized I had my answer…

Cha-Ching!!! My million dollar “excuse“! This was great… So I thought.

Living Beyond My Excuse?

This was the perfect reason to tell people I was still 25 pounds heavier, a few sizes bigger, and well, just plain “not my fault”. But the truth was that this excuse wasn’t changing my circumstances. I didn’t want to take any medication and I believe God is the healer.

With all my speaking engagements, the release of my new women’s study “The Red Carpet Heart” and my launch of ministry I needed strength. I needed my energy back. And I was sick of the “blues”. Dark blue in case anyone wants to know. Possibly mid-night blue.

After my book release I crashed. I soon hit my “Elijah” moment. From Mount Carmel to my pretty little cave. It was not what I expected. I wasn’t ready for it.

Proverbs 31:17 (amp) says that she girds herself with strength {spiritually, mentally, and physical fitness for her God given tasks}. 

I knew that I needed to do something. If I am going to live my life fully surrendered to our Awesome God, and walk out my destiny in living fully for Him, I needed to make some choices.

I needed to get strong again. 

I was defeated. Discouraged. Weak. Scared. Worried. And not living the abundant life Jesus died to give me.

The enemy was winning. 

With tears rolling down my face I told Robert (my compassionate & faithful hot hubby)… “I need help. I am sick of my emotions. I’m done being sad. I want to be me again.” 

I.

Want.

To.

Be.

Me.

Again.

I Needed Help

He was willing to help me in anyway. But he reminded me that I was in control of me. No one can do the hard work for me. I have to do it. And he was right. I just didn’t have any energy to start. No motivation to begin.

I have gotten my body fat down to 12.5% before by using a free online program called Jamie Eason’s Live Fit Trainer. I customized my own nutrition plan and saw powerful results. This time I couldn’t stick to my own plan. A plan that works. A plan that’s right. It was beyond humiliating.

That’s when Robert and I knew it was time. I contacted an online personal trainer.

She is beyond a blessing to me. I needed help. Big time. For me, she’s a blessing! A beautiful blessing.

I have never talked with her in person. Obviously never met her. But we correspond via email and her website.

When she accepted me to be her client, I filled out her questionnaire.  I told her what I normally eat. Give her the time commitment I can work out. And she customizes a personal plan for me to follow (nutrition & exercise). She has videos to show the workouts that I’m not familiar with.

I document every meal, every workout. Basically, she tells me what to do and I execute it. That’s why I posted my “shout out!” from her on Facebook. I am a “words of affirmation” kind of lady. In fact, you give me a grade and I will work. Work hard. I’m a task oriented, get to the grind kind of girl. So for me, an online trainer works for this time.

What Have My Results Been?

I am in the fourth week. {There’s a three month minimum commitment.} I check in to her in three days. I have lost 7 pounds and inches. I can zip up some of my pants, and most importantly, I feel like I’m sitting on the tracks to being all God asked me to be.

Do I look like it in the mirror? Not at all. In fact, I get discouraged almost every evening. Wondering if I’ll ever feel strong again. Will this even work? With my hormones working against me, is it possible?

I believe so. I know God honors my efforts to carry His Glory with a strong, clean temple (body). He sees every time I say no to Costco pizza, homemade cookies, Halloween candy, chai teas, and that one piece of cheese that couldn’t hurt, right?

This is hard. This is real. I whine almost every night. It’s not easy. It’s slow. And can I be honest? It just stinks. Big time. 

So if you want to know if I have a trainer? Yes, I do. She is what I needed to help me see where I have been lying to myself, and sabotaging my efforts to walk out my destiny.

Therefore, I have something to say:

To the enemy, I say…to hell with you. Literally. Leave me alone. Leave my family alone. And leave everyone in this world alone!

I stand on the solid rock of Jesus Christ. My best friend. My King. And who I live my whole life for. He is my all!! And when I succeed, He will receive all the glory! And when I fall, He will receive all the Glory because He already has me picked up and in His arms.

Jesus struggled one night too. And I often recall that dark, lonely, fearful night as he whispered the instruction “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.”

My spirit, to you, Father, I commit it all. Veggies. Chicken breast. Plain oatmeal. And workouts with bags under my eyes. I will be strong once again and Heaven will declare your Glory through my life!!!

Maybe you need an trainer in your life too. Then join  me in finding whatever you need to help you out of your cave.

Have you ever struggled with something seemingly too great to fight?? If so, I would love to hear your stories and invite you to join me in making wise choices to be our best for His Glory!

All my love {sorry it’s been so long since I’ve shared on this blog…it’s been a “fighting” kind of year},

Update:

One year after this post.  I know struggles are real.  Look at my three different transformation pictures here.  And my desire is for you to look and feel YOUR best.  I’ve been studying long hard hours to see what worked for me and what didn’t.  I wanted to know what motivates us and what doesn’t.  That’s when I realized that transformation has so much more to do with food and fitness.  If we don’t have the mental tools, we will fail and we won’t get there.  The result?  Life Happens and so does the yo-yo’ing!

Join me for “Let’s Get Personal Training” 1-on-1 and group online training.  Eight weeks to a new mindset, new tools, and set on your path to START and STICK to your fitness and food goals.

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#strugglesarereal

#Godismyall

Comments

  1. Thanks for sharing your journey! Thanks for being real! Sometimes we can pair up with God and get things done, but other times we need others to join us in a journey. It’s a good reminder that there are times we have to reach for other help too. Not in replacement of the most important helper, but in addition to Him.

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